Rowes Bowl @ Hazel Grove GC Report, Thursday July 25th 2019

Well Pete Derbyshire worked his magic for this one it turned out to be the hottest day of the year so far. The challenge of hills had been replaced by the heat. The course was in great condition and the trees had filled out making it a tougher than last time we played here. With 5 par 3’s surely somebody was going to get a 2. See the tables below.

Top 10
Player Score Posn Prior Post Why
Lancaster P 38 1 15.5 13 5>34
Garner M 36 2 25.95 22.95 3>34
Brook T 34 3 18 17.5 3rd
Tobin T 32   8.4 8.4 duffer
Haynes G 31   9 9 buffer
Payne S 30   28 28 suffer
Coburn J 29   18.6 18.8 0.2
Regan D 29   28 28 max
Southworth A 28   27.7 27.9 0.2
Bolton K 27   21 21.2 0.2


Some good scores in how they did on the par 3's. Nearest the pins below

Hole 2 Phil Lancaster
Hole 5 Mel Garner
Hole 9 Andy Southworth
Hole 11 Geoff Haynes
Hole 13 Pete Derbyshire
Longest Drive Mel Garner


To extend the excitement further a nearest pin with your 2nd shot was set up on par 4's

15 Graham Murray
18 Phil Lancaster


Once again there were no 2’s. Securicor will at the next event to escort anybody who manages a 2 home. With a nearest the pin with your 2nd on the 18th a few people chose to sit on the bench watching others finish. Howard Dickson in his enthusiasm to cheer a good shot managed to swallow a wasp. Like most of the putting it was a bit jabby and stung his bottom lip. This could have been in response to Howard’s rather racy tattoo of a wasp on his calf. Our lovely Captain was escorted round the course by the brothers Regan. She said she had a lovely round and was impressed by boys fussing over her. I guess you could call it brotherly love.  Being a carnivore I found the meal simply divine. Steak and chips with a sauce that I’d have to describe as lovely. It may not have suited Vegans. Congratulations to the top finishers they all had a good driving day which makes the game easier. Can anybody putt? Find out next time at Birchwood. NB for >34 read >33 oops.






Captains Day @ Harwood Report, Thursday June 27th 2019

Captains Cup 2019 a hot day in the hills of Harwood

Our lovely Captain Frances had chosen to hold her day at Harwood as it was more suitable for such a great occasion than the nearby Lowes Park. We had been to Harwood before and found them very welcoming, which they were this time. The course was in excellent condition with a few changes to the back 9 holes all for the better. The front nine holes were just as hilly as they ever were and it was probably a good thing we were only playing 18 holes on the day. We had a turnout of over 30 players with Frances getting a few golfing chums to support her on her day. Lynda Brady had even talked her husband Brendan into coming along. Christine and Betty were friends from the MANCASS golfing trips. Having witnessed people struggling to push their trolleys up to the first green on what was one of the flatter sections of the course we set out with some trepidation.  Below is a table of how thing went   for the top ten finishers.

 Results of morning team event

Top Ten

Caps Cup









Dickson H 34 1 13.45 11.95 1st
Boyd J 33 2 11.3 10.3 2nd
Coburn J 32 3 19.6 18.6 3rd
Claffy M 31   18.1 18.1 Buffer
Harris W 31   7.5 7.5 Buffer
Southworth A 31   27,7 27.7 Buffer
Rowlands E 30   28 28 Buffer
Tobin T 30   8.4 8.4 Buffer
Haynes G 28   8.5 8.7 +0.2
Martin J 28   24.5 24.7 +0.2


With a monster rollover with the 2’s contest there was probably more concerns for the nearest the pins. Below is another table showing those who had their chances.

Nearest the pin hole 1 John Martin
Nearest the pin hole 4 David Baynes
Nearest the pin hole 10 Andy Southworth
Nearest the pin hole 17 Terry Tobin
Longest drive (Bertie Boy) Terry Tobin


Well none of them managed a 2 so it will be an even bigger rollover at Hazel Grove.

Frances once again delivered a speech to touch the heart. So much so that there was a certain amount of filling up taking place. She recounted an article written by the late Keith Massey were he had commented on Frances as a player and posed the question would she ever be the captain of the Portland. Frances should in no way be embarrassed about becoming emotional on her Captains day. She is not the 1st I remember running into the car park in floods of tears when they explained that I was expected to get the 1st round in.





Portland cup at Saddleworth, Friday 31st May 2019

With a few members away sunning themselves including Captain Frances and hubby Paul the numbers were down. Those that were turning out could be classed as hard core golfers. There were horror tales going around about the hilliness of the course. The recent weather did not lend itself to pleasant golf. But Frances had looked after the weather by getting Captain Sunshine Pete Derbyshire to step up for the day. Pete worked his magic we had no rain but he couldn’t do anything about the terrain. The golf club is first rate and the effort the green staff must put in to produce such a good course on the land available is amazing and has to be applauded. The sheep in adjacent fields looked like they had been crossed with Yaks.

Below is a table of how the nearest the pins panned out.

Nearest the Pins
2. Kev Bolton
5. Bob Chadwick
10. Chris Murphy
 15. Geoff Haynes
Longest Drive
Kieran Dunn
 No 2's******


There were no 2s so next time out a double rollover.                   

Buggies were available and thankfully Ian Ringwood had got one. Ian crocked his leg quite early in his round. It was amazing that he finished even with a buggy. Watching him walk across a green nearly brought tears to your eyes. When he sank his putt you did have tears in your eyes. Ian managed 27 points which was the average for the day. As that had been rounded up from 26.55 he was above average. Below is a table of how the top 5 finished.

Top 5 finishers

  Points Handicap Revised  
 Ian Hopkins
 39  22.2  17 winner
 Kev Bolton
 34  23  21 2nd
 Kieran Dunn
 33  28  27 3rd
 Joe Coburn
 32 19.6  19.6 Buffer
 Andy Minshull
 31  25.2  25.2 Duffer


From the table above you can see how the average of 27 was attained. There were lower scores to bring it down but telling you my score could be considered bragging. I will say I didn’t have a buggy.  I didn’t have a power trolley. I didn’t take part in the run in the park the next day. I have had a couple of nights good sleep. The winner may have done some tossing and turning wondering how he was going to cope with his new low handicap. No thought as to the problem he had set the poor handicap secretary. Ian is another fan of wearing shorts in all weather. This has resulted in a pair of legs that wouldn’t look out of place on a mountain gorilla. The poor handicap secretary had to decide do I shave these before cutting them off. With a big bounty in the 2’s chest a few more should be out for Captain’s day.