Ashton Physical Charity Challenge

Ashton Physical Charity Challenge went well. There was a great energy and commitment shown by those involved. The first machines were moving at 06:30 and the last finished at 17:00. The target was to bike the equivalent of the route from Ashton to the BT Tower in London (343km), to row the equivalent of the English channel there and back (64km), and run the equivalent of a marathon (43km), all on the gym equipment. A valiant effort by those who took part but we missed the bike target due to people having to drop out due to business commitments. However we still succeeded on the rowing machine and running machine, so 2 of the 3 targets where reached. The final totals were, bike – 212.6km, rowing machine – 74.2km and running machine – 46km. Thank you and well done to all those that took part and donated on the day. We raised £160 on the day which will go to SSAFA.


Captains Day @ Blackley Report, Friday June 28th 2016

The last captain’s day notes from Blackley were still on my computer. There were a few changes in conditions. Rock hard fairways had become swamps. The morning was drier than the afternoon and those that ventured out posted the results shown below.

 Results of morning team event

 Mention 23pts  Terry Tobin  Phil Lancaster  Alan Saville
 2nd Place 23 pts  Martin Scott  Pete Derbyshire  Andy Southworth
 Winners 24 pts  Martin Claffy  Ian Ringwood  Dave Baynes


 PM Individual event

Nearest the Pins
4. Mel Garner 7. Dave Baynes 10. Bill MacBeth 13. Geoff Haynes
Longest Drive
Geoff Haynes  2's  Geoff Haynes  Bill Harris


Top 5 finishers

  Points Handicap Revised
5. John Martin 29  No change
4. Arthur Hughes 31  No change
3. Terry Tobin 32 9.7 9.2
2. Bill Harris 33 9.6 8.6
1. Brian Murray 35 27 24


We had been expecting a big turnout for this event what with a free pint off the captain and lots of goodies to boot. A few regulars were missing but the lure of a triple rollover 2’s pot dragged in a few old faces. It was very wet in the afternoon on got worse as it was raining constantly.  It was probably a good thing a lot of occasional players didn’t turn up as they would have been put off golf for life. As it was there were a few players who did not manage a full 18 holes. No need to mention names you will know them from the smell of Mycota foot cream coming off their trench foot. There were a few who managed to put creditable scores in. Arthur Hughes posted 31 points and has been asked to be the poster boy for Wet wipes.  Bill Harris was back with a 2 as well, along with Geoff Haynes. I didn’t see that coming.  Brian Murray won a very popular victor. He has run the betting and the raffle for as long as I can remember. He put his success down to the rain. Apparently his secret stash of fags had got wet and he couldn’t light them. It was Captains day and you had to feel for Kevin the rain ruined his parade. There were plus points on the day. The steak pie was terrific and the road works outside the club planned to start that day were rained of for a week. Fingers crossed for better weather at Rochdale.




Portland cup at Hart Common or Arthurs back on the throne, Friday May 26th 2017

The day started with chaos on the roads. Luckily for us captain Kev had a very neat traffic app on his phone and we got to Hart Common in good time. We were not the first there though Bill Harris was sorting the money side of things with club secretary. It was an insight into Bill’s input to the society he had travelled up from south Manchester and must have set off at seven o’clock. The club secretary probably out gunned Bill in the input stakes as she was also doing the catering. And good it was with perm any 2 from 3 Bacon, egg and sausage muffins. Being such a hot day I decided to put the roof up on my Pope mobile to keep it cool in there. On opening the sliding door one of Kev’s suicidal bottles of wine attempted to top itself. Miraculously it landed on the top and no wine was split. Kev is going to ask his priest for some holy water to splash on the van. I think he might splash some on his putter as well. With the teams rearranged into 6 three balls the need for ghosts was exorcized. The course proved to be as good as reported.   

Below is a table of how the morning team event panned out.

 Results of morning team event

Mention 23 points Martin Scott Brian Murray Alan Saville
2nd place 23 points Mel Garner Arthur Hughes Stephen Payne
Winners 23 points Martin Claffy Joe Boyd Chris Murphy


Denis Holyland was there to greet us at lunch he has not changed a bit. Unfortunately Arthur who had started the morning striding the fairways like Ghandi was struck down by Delhi belly. We had to leave him curled up on the couch groaning and trotting off at regular intervals. No taxi driver was going to risk taking him home Arthur had to pass the time away in the clubhouse. I dropped back in to see how he was before playing the back nine. The noises coming out of that toilet are going to haunt me for the rest of my life. He was mumbling something it took some time but I eventually worked it out he was saying “I’ve got a towel in my mouth”. There followed a scream and a huge whooshing sound. Arthur said he felt better and thanked me for popping back. He told me to get back out there and win it. I was a man on a mission I needed fresh air. News of Dave Baynes’s  amazing scoring on the front nine had trickled through the field people thought there was only second spot up for grabs. But low and behold his wheels wobbled rather than came off and I pipped him on a card play-off. My luck did not end there I won the draw. I had had a bet on myself which I don’t always do. I was on a high and wanted to drive home with roof up in the pope mobile parading the cup. But it would have ruined my MPG and Kev was talking broken biscuits. I have only 2 regrets on the day.1. I didn’t buy a lottery ticket. 2. I didn’t wash my hands after shaking Arthur’s  ooh got to go.     


 PM Individual event

Nearest the Pins
2. Dave Baynes 11. Ian Ringwood 14. Martin Claffy
Longest Drive
Andy Minshull  No 2's


Top 5 finishers

  Points Handicap Revised
5. Mel Garner 32
4. Brian Murray 32
3. Howard Dickson 33 16 15.5
2. Dave Baynes 38 19.6 15.9
1. Steve Payne 38 20.3 16.3