Captains Day @ Dukinfield Report, Thursay June 28th 2018

Once again Captain Pete had arranged a dry day. A very dry day sun stroke and the nearby moors fire were our chief concerns. Along with the weather Pete had arranged an England game to be on in the evening and for those who did not like football there was a bouncy castle.

 Results of morning team event

 Mention 21pts  Pete Derbyshire  Bill Harris  Matt Biddle
 Mention 22pts  Francis Sinnott  Paul Sinnott  Ian Hopkins
 2nd Place 25 pts  Ian Ringwood  Carl-C-Prince  Dave Baynes
 Winners 24 pts  Alan Saville  Brian Murray  Rob-G-Davy
2's AM  Carl-C-Prince  Steve Payne  


 PM Individual event

Nearest the Pins
2. Bill Harris
4. Kieran Dunn
7.Keith McEwan
16 Nobody
Longest Drive
Keith McEwan
 2's....  Bill Harris


Top 5 finishers

  Points Handicap Revised
5. Pauil Sinnott
29  No change
4. Bill Harris
31  No change
3. Ian Ringwood
33 28 27
2. Martin Claffy
33 21.8 19.8
1. Ian Hopkins
34 25.5 22.5


Keeping the ball on the fairway was the order of the day. The ball had huge amounts of run on it and anything not straight was either a lost ball or a recovery shot from 2 fairways away. It is hard to believe Martin and Ian did so well as they are 2 of the most curvaceous strikers of the ball in the society. To be fair to Martin he did hit some straight shots in the afternoon. In the morning he had found a garden and had to fill out a ball leaving the course form. He asked for a few forms for the afternoon but I do not recall him having to fill another out. I can only assume Ian was using his new wonder irons off the tee or he was bouncing shots back of the safety netting which prevailed around the course.   Ian Ringwood will be chuffed about finishing 3rd and having a handicap reduction.  I just wonder if he can remember the last time it happened. Not so chuffed was John Coburn who managed to run his trolley through the contents of a dog’s colon. It clung to the full 360’s of his wheel. Thankfully he managed to spin it off on some grass before the sun baked it in place for eternity. The rollover 2’s prize was captured by Bill Harris. A few other bounty hunters turned out but you’ve got to get out early to beat Bill. The dining was chaotic at best with fifty other people in the room to watch the match. A few more staff would not have gone a miss. The lad serving us was hard pushed. I would like to know who pushed him when he was serving me with my sticky toffee pudding. It landed in my lap, it was sticky and hot. We went up to the boardroom for the presentation. It was so hot people began to get dizzy. John Martin spilt his wine and we all went home laughing. Many thanks to Pete for his pints and presents.





Portland cup at Northenden

With the kids off school the run into Northenden was a breeze. It was going to be another scorching day out with the Portland. There was a buzz in the air. Ernie Rowlands was turning out. He did not disappoint putting on a brilliant Buzz Hawkins tribute act to keep us merrily chortling. Kev Bolton was his warm up act doing his Old Steptoe routine. Hydration was the only problem. The pro shop had run out of water and with no sand in the bunkers setting up a desert still was out of the question. The rest of the course was in fine fettle. This was reflected in some of the scoring which followed.  

Below is a table of how the morning team event panned out.

Mention 27pts

Kev Bolton

 Dave Baynes

Pete Derbyshire

Mention 28pts

Phil Lancaster

 Alan Saville


2nd place 29 pts

Ernie Rowlands

 Bob Chadwick

Bill Harris

Winners 30pts

Ian Ringwood

Joe Boyd

Stephen Payne


The pro’s tip for playing the course was to keep the ball on the fairway. With so much run on the ball only the straightest hitters were going to do this. But it wasn’t the end of the world if you went into the trees. The course was tidy and you only lost a stroke not a ball. Meaning some big scores came in. The average for the day was 27. Two points more than the usual average. Bill Harris coming 4 clear of the field was following the Pro’s tip. He played 75 strokes to complete his round just 3 over par. I cannot remember a Portland round being that low. There were no 2’s morning or afternoon. The 2’s pot will be rolled over for Captains day. Pete has already promised us good weather. The rest of the season is going to interesting. Can anybody catch Bill? A few surprisingly had their handicaps replenished after not performing to their usual standards. Very interesting indeed.   

Nearest the pins

Nearest the Pins
4.Dave McGovern
8. Ian Ringwood 12 Nobody
 15. Phil Lancaster
Longest Drive
Martin Claffy
 No 2's******


Top 6 finishers

  Points Handicap Revised
6. Kev Bolton  33    
5. Phil Lancaster
4. Brian Murray  34  26.4  25.4
3. Kieran Dunn
 36  28  26
2. Dave McGovern
 36 13.9  12.4
1. Bill Harris
 40  8.4  7







Spring Plate. Fairfield Golf and Sailing Club

Reading the full title of the club and seeing the surrounding reservoirs filled my heart with trepidation. I had just spent the previous day drying out all my golf kit. Whilst putting out on the 18th at Pike I saw my trolley sailing across the fairway. My brolly was acting like a spinnaker and there was no catching it. On hitting the water like a lifeboat launch the trolley began to sink but the brolly flip out and sailed to the far side of the pond. A desperate clutch saved the trolley from sinking into a surprisingly deep pond. Fairfield has been completely revamped from what was a compact course into something longer and challenging with a few unique holes.

Results of morning team event

 Mention 25 pts  Ian Hopkins  Howard Dickson  Ian Ringwood
 2nd place 26 pts  Terry Tobin  Chris Murphy  Phil Lancaster
 Winners 26 pts  Geoff Haynes  Brian Murray  Dave Baynes


PM Individual Event

 Nearest the pins  4. Andy Minshull  7. Geoff Haynes  10. John Coburn  12. Phil Lancaster
   16. Bill Harris  "2" Joe Boyd    
Longest Drive  Howard Dickson      

Top 5 Finishers

   Points Handicap  Revised
5. Joe Boyd 20    
4. Terry Tobin 30    
3. Bill Harris 30 8.6  8.4
2. Howard Dickson


12.9  11.9
1. Dave Baynes 34 17.8  16.3


The challenge of the course is reflected in the low winning scores. Dave out in front by three shots of a class chasing field has probably put in his best Portland round so far. Our presentation was delayed by the host club’s own presentation. It did give us an insight into how Stuart Allcock was doing he was mentioned in 2nd place in a pairs competition. In the end we had to hold our presentation in the manner of ‘Dads Army’ with Captain Derbyshire asking us to gather round. Pete pointed out he had a 100% dry weather record. Although he didn’t have the best of rounds he was happy to play on a course frequented by Pep. I spotted Dave McGovern earlier hiding all Kev Bolton’s Man U head covers so as not to offend Pep had he turned up. We all hope Pete maintains his 100% weather record Kev nearly did last year but that was for raining. On a macabre note Bill told me a tale about a pub across from the course. The landlord had murder his wife after 3 o’clock closing and just opened up as usual at the night. I pointed it out to Kev on the way home it was a Boddies house.